Thursday 4 August 2016

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PARENTS


P.S. This is kinda like a personal rant. You might be able to relate with it but I doubt if your situation is EXACTLY the same. So, please excuse it if it doesn't meet your need head-on. I just needed to vent...

How do you deal?!

Seriously? How do you deal with parents who are just 'un-dealable'? How do you deal with a father who wakes your mum up in the middle of the night and tells her to go find you another dad; tells her you're no longer his child? How do you wrap it around your head that just that night, there had been nothing wrong and he had spoken with you just as a father would, his daughter? What could have happened between 8pm and 3am when you didn't even see each other within that period? 


So you finally realise this is no fluke, and he's not trying to pull a late April fools on you. You realise this shii is for real. How tho? So you ask, and beg, and plead that he should please tell you what is going on... But he doesn't say one word; just ignores you like you don't exist!

That's a case in point. Many young people, especially in our society, are going through similar situations or worse... Jeez!

When I see my friends who enjoy healthy communication with their parents, I want to tell them how much they need to appreciate it. I want to tell them how much they should appreciate parents who have respect for their kids' feelings; who realise that although this boy or girl will always be my little one, they're far from being kids anymore. I want to tell them how wonderful it is that they do not have parents who specialise in emotional, psychological & spiritual manipulation. 
Who wants to be treated like a 5-year old in their early twenties?

I remember admiring my roommate during my NYSC. Babe was always so happy to go home! Me? Going home held little appeal; only the thought of my siblings made my heart glad. Usually I couldn't wait for the time to 'run away' from the house. My friend also had this habit of leaving her phone on silent {I used to tease her that the 'mobile' phone was not made for her specie}. She would see her dad's many missed calls and be so calm. She'd just return his call and still be calm! Mehhhn! Me? Who born me? If I saw two missed calls from my dad, I would start to shiver, literally. Because I know the drama that will follow. I would have to explain the 'irinkurin' that is in my leg. And God help you if he's the type that dishes out curses effortlessly... *lip sealed*

It's like as long as you still live under their roof, you're basically still a kid. One of the reasons I absolutely LOVED my service year was that, it felt good coming home after some months and be treated so respectfully. It felt good having my dad call me to tell me about things going on at home while I just gave my basic two cents on the issue over the phone. It felt good not having to witness your parent's troubling drama episodes! Best part? Having my dad call for my advice or help on issues at home! ehen?! so my opinion can be imporrant? It felt good, trust me...

Maybe as they say, familiarity breeds contempt... For those of us who don't have that 'sweet' relationship with our folks, that 'Far-away love' is the best abeg!



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