Dealing with the loss of a friend: For my friend, who is now at peace

Just a quick one! I'm taking a break from my 'break' 🙈 to keep this here... Tola wanted so much to do a post for my blog, but hey, life happened. This is something I eventually wrote since she passed last August...

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I like to think writing, for me, is therapeutic as much as it's a passion. But sometimes, certain events seem to nullify that position. They stand like giants and poke fun at me right before my eyes: 

"No darling. Your writing can't do us nothing!"

At times like these, I find myself resorting to other techniques, one of which is avoidance. Omotola, for the longest time, I have refused to accept that you're gone physically. How could you be? 

When you're yet to write for Mary Scott's blog, as promised? 

When Shola, the man you loved with all of your being, is still here? 

When your beautiful son is gonna need the best mom ever? 

When this world of ugliness is still in need of as many awesome souls as it could get? 

How could you then be gone? 

A few days before the world lost a rare gem, I had premonitions: dark dreams, dark thoughts. I never saw you in any of them but I just prayed against death generally, asking God to protect every family and loved one of mine. And I prayed. God knows I did! But maybe it wasn't enough? 

The night I found out: dark night! Imagine, Omotola, I found out you were gone from a WhatsApp status! Just like that? I first saw the preview and smiled. It was your lovely Engagement picture. You, a vision in your white Iro and Buba, and your blue Gele. Then I saw the caption and my world went BLACK! 

I flung the book I was reading (I had an exam the next day). My head itched all over. Goosebumps accompanied chills as they consumed my entire body. I wanted to punch Tolu for making such an expensive joke. I wanted to tell her we still had a chat some weeks back. I had read in the news about floods in your area and wanted to be sure you and Shola were okay. You still called me 'Mama' and assured me the flood didn't get to your side. 

Didn't Tolu know I was still in your house last December, indulging my sweet tooth with the cake you served and keeping you company as you fried chicken? How could she put up your picture with a "Can't believe you're gone"! 

It's funny (not really)  now when I think about how many times, since your passing, I've said "but I was still with her last December eating rice and chicken nah". 

Life! It only takes a second for it to hit us with a shocker...  

As I got details about the circumstances surrounding her passing, I got confused the more. Wasn't a baby supposed to be the icing on Tola's cake? She had always gushed to me about how she couldn't believe Shola would choose her, even after she told him her sickle cell status; how she didn't deserve Shola, how she couldn't believe he loved her the way he did; how she loved him back just as much; how God was so good to her! She taught me a lot about accepting love, even though I doubt she knew it. And I saw that love between them! I saw that they were friends; how easily they cared for each other... So how could she leave after delivering a living testimony of their love? Some things, one would never understand... 

I want to write so much more, but I seem incapable of 'organizing' the memories in my head into coherent words. One thing I won't forget though: Tola was passionate and intentional about LIVING STRONG. Oh, on more than one occasion, she didn't feel like she was living up to the mantra, but she had no idea how much of an inspiration she was. 

There's no need to LIVE STRONG if it's all peach and roses, right? Our strengths only become apparent in trying times. If Omotola could do it; if she could live strong despite all that life threw her way, then we all can do it. The world lost a rare gem, but I'm glad she's now at rest, free from aches and pains. 

Omotola, I will write again. There's so much more to say. The circumstances surrounding how we met had always baffled me, but now I know. I know that it was no 'accident'. I know you had a role to play. 

Keep resting, dear friend. You have no idea how ‘unforgotten’ you are!

-Mary Adeola Scott

First published on LIVESTRONG, Tola's Blog.

9 Ridiculous Myths About Single Christian Women

We all say “never judge a book by its cover”, but basically we still do. You see that young girl, all made up and looking expensive, cruising in a G-wagon, and you ‘just know’ she’s a ‘Runs’ girl. Maybe sometimes you’re right, but it still holds no justification for wrongly assessing another person.

“Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly”- John 7:24(NLT)

There are a bunch of myths about Christian women too. It’s like everyday sees a new generalization being formed. Usually some are just too ridiculous while others are downright laughable. I asked around with some of my friends and the following are what we came up with. Shout-out to 3 beautiful women- Ayodeji, Tolu, Tola, and Bisola who came through on this.

HELLO NO. 11! Check Out These Amazing Facts About November

It's the 11th month, people! I'm curious about how your Month 1-10 went; wanna share? I know mine was kinda eventful. Whatever the case though, it's worth appreciating the fact that you're still here. You know, every second you spend with breath in you is another chance to be the YOU you've always wanted to be; to achieve those dreams; to fulfill purpose! So, i'm not just wishing you Happy New Month, i'm charging you to be the best you can be this November...

Here are some cool facts about the month of November. To be honest, some really cracked me up. See if you'll feel that way after reading:

Tife's Lucky Day... or Not?

"Heeeeeee!" Bennie screamed.

"Village girl. Remind me again, why do I hang out with you?"

"Lemme joor. You will not spoil my joy. Hei!" she exclaimed again, all giggles and weird faces. She kept turning the piece of paper back and forth in her right hand. She was looking at it funny, as if it would disappear the next minute.

"This has got to be like the party of the year" Bennie breathed, "abi, can't you see? Even the ticket no be here. The quality alone's got me swooning, baby girl..."

"I wonder what you'll do when you see all the celebrities at the event", Tife said to her 'bush' friend.

"ooohhhh" Bennie whistled, fanning herself with the ticket and turning her eyes dramatically as though she was about to faint.

Practical Tips on Dealing with Difficult Parents

This has been such a looooong time coming! Apologies for my disappearing act, biko. I did a POST on dealing with difficult parents, but it was basically a rant. I was boiling on that particular day, and just needed to vent. Since I'm not so down with the idea of smashing stuff against the wall or screaming off my lungs, writing was it {My friend actually suggested I do a post when I almost ranted his ears off ;) }. But I realize that many young people have to deal with difficult parents, and it would help to know one or two things to do in such situations. I compiled these with the help of a friend, so it's like a compilation of our personal observations. It's definitely not exhaustive.

Dealing with difficult parents can be a bummer, and it's often a case of different strokes for different folks. From excessive nagging, to outright physical and emotional abuse, no form of conflict with parents is palatable.

You Might Like>>> Musings on Hard-work and Perseverance

If you're currently having these issues, here are a few tips you'll want to remember:

9 Amazing Things You Never Knew About September the 9th Month

Happy new month, guys! May September usher in pleasant surprises for everyone, and may we all find cause to smile, even in these difficult times.

I’ve always believed September is a very special month. When I was little, I used to love the feeling of moving into a new class in September. Weirdly also, I strongly believe that the month is female. I'm sure you're dying to know how I came about that theory. Yea?

No long story. Check out these facts and tell me if you actually KNEW…

YES! It's finally here! The Solution to All Your Writing Needs... INKBEET

For a while now, I've been uploading teasers on my social media pages. Something along the lines of #AllergicToError #Inkbeet etc. etc. Now it's out! The answer to all your writing and content needs! 

I saw somewhere that if you're good at something, you should not do it for free. And this is what I'm good at. What's more? I love doing it. Even if I know some people who would rather I shut up than correct every misplaced comma or colon... Hehehe

Enough story...

Please patronize o!!! *wink*